76 Dark Humor Jokes That Are Guilty Laugh-Worthy

Get ready to chuckle with these 76 Dark Humor Jokes That Are Guilty Laugh-Worthy! Dark humor can be a bit of a rollercoaster, taking us through unexpected twists and turns, often leaving us laughing in the face of life’s absurdities. So, if you’re in the mood for some guilty giggles, buckle up and dive into this curated collection of dark humor that will make you laugh out loud, even if it’s just a bit scandalous!

1. I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

3. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.

4. My therapist said time heals all wounds. So I stabbed her. Now we wait.

5. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid them.

6. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.

7. I wish I could be a kid again. Skipping school wasn’t as easy as it is now.

8. Why don’t graveyards have Wi-Fi? Because people are just dying to get in.

9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

10. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!

12. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

13. I have a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.

14. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

15. I used to be indecisive. Now, I’m not so sure.

16. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including my life.

17. I had a job as a professional cricket player but was stumped by the competition.

18. I wanted to lose weight, so I went to the cemetery. That’s where the dead weight is.

19. I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”

20. My funeral is going to be a blast. Everyone will be invited to the after party.

21. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

22. I wanted to become a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.

23. I have a joke about a broken pencil… but it’s pointless.

24. They say laughter is the best medicine. That’s why I’m always laughing at my own problems.

25. I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

26. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… until he got lost.

27. I have a joke about a pizza, but it’s too cheesy.

28. I used to have a handle on life, but then I dropped it.

29. Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it—just don’t flush your dreams!

30. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

31. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

32. Why don’t fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.

33. I had a job as a banker, but I lost interest.

34. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

35. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

36. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

37. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.

38. I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts!

39. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

40. I told my son he was adopted. He said, “I knew it! I want to meet my real parents!”

41. I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.

42. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

43. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.

44. I have a friend who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

45. I wanted to be a comedian, but I couldn’t find the punchline.

46. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That was a big step forward.

47. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid them.

48. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

49. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

50. I came up with a new word: plagiarism.

51. I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

52. I would tell you a joke about my life, but it’s too dark.

53. I don't know why I’m so bad at math… I’m always trying to add up my mistakes.

54. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

55. I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.

56. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

57. I told my therapist about my addiction to Twitter. He said I should tweet less.

58. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!

59. I wish I could be a kid again. Skipping school wasn’t as easy as it is now.

60. I have a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.

61. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

62. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.

63. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

64. I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Don’t buy it!

65. I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.

66. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.

67. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

68. They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

69. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

70. My therapist said time heals all wounds. So I stabbed her. Now we wait.

71. I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

72. I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn’t have the patients.

73. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

74. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

75. I wanted to lose weight, so I went to the cemetery. That’s where the dead weight is.

76. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

There you have it! 76 Dark Humor Jokes That Are Guilty Laugh-Worthy! Remember, humor can sometimes tread on sensitive ground, but there's nothing wrong with a little laughter, even if it's a bit dark. For more humor and fun content, check out ItSoFunny for more inspiration!