150 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally NSFW (But Absolutely Hilarious)

Get ready to laugh with these 150 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally NSFW (But Absolutely Hilarious)! Whether you’re looking to spice up your next gathering or simply need a good laugh, these jokes are perfect for adults with a great sense of humor. So, without further ado, let’s dive into this cheeky collection that might make you blush, but will definitely crack you up!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including dirty jokes!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One’s a crusty bus station, and the other’s a busty crustacean!
Why did the pervert cross the road? To get to the other side – where his car was parked!
What did the boy bird say to the girl bird? “You’re so hot, I’m going to need a fan!”
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… but he still couldn’t get a date!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! But let’s be real, it doesn’t taste as good in bed!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it… or a little something else!
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto! But don’t ask him to hop on one leg!
Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!
What’s the best part about Switzerland? I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus! Just like me after a few drinks!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts… but they sure know how to get it on!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it’s the C they love the most!
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! But watch out; it might still lure you in!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired… just like me after a long night!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
How do you organize a space party? You planet! And make sure to invite the hottest aliens!
Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob!
Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (wafer, get it?).
What do you call a smart group of trees? A brain forest! Just like my friends when we’re together!
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems… and not enough solutions in bed!
What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything, especially dirty jokes like these!
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? “Dam!”
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
What did the farmer say after he lost his tractor? “Where’s my tractor?”
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus, and it was feeling a bit unresponsive!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Why did the girl bring a pencil to bed? Because she wanted to draw some sweet dreams!
What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi!
What do you call a man who can’t stop telling dirty jokes? A pun-derful person!
Why did the baker go to therapy? Because he kneaded it!
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
What’s the hardest part about being a comedian? Getting it up on stage!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Why did the computer keep freezing? It needed a little defrosting!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino! (I’ll leave the rest to your imagination!)
What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look! I’m about to change!”
Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!
What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a sheep that can sing? A ewe-nique!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!
Why did the computer keep freezing? It needed a little defrosting!
Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (wafer, get it?).
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? “Dam!”
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
What’s the hardest part about being a comedian? Getting it up on stage!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why did the belt get arrested? For holding up a pair of pants!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
What do you call a man who can’t stop telling dirty jokes? A pun-derful person!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What’s the hardest part about being a comedian? Getting it up on stage!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again!
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? “Dam!”
What did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (wafer, get it?).
What do you call a smart group of trees? A brain forest! Just like my friends when we’re together!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, including dirty jokes!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One’s a crusty bus station, and the other’s a busty crustacean!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field… but he still couldn’t get a date!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it’s the C they love the most!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob!
What’s the best part about Switzerland? I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus! Just like me after a few drinks!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!
Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (wafer, get it?).
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What do you call a man who can’t stop telling dirty jokes? A pun-derful person!
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
What’s the hardest part about being a comedian? Getting it up on stage!
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What’s the best part about Switzerland? I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus! Just like me after a few drinks!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob!
What did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
Why did the computer keep freezing? It needed a little defrosting!

There you have it! 150 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally NSFW (But Absolutely Hilarious) to brighten your day. Whether you're sharing them with friends or just enjoying a giggle alone, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, so don’t forget to spread the joy! For more laughs, check out more hilarious content on ItSoFunny.

150 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally NSFW (But Absolutely Hilarious)

150 Dirty Jokes That Are Totally NSFW (But Absolutely Hilarious)

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