120 Dirty Jokes That Are Filthy and Funny (But Safe to Share)

Get ready to laugh with 120 Dirty Jokes That Are Filthy and Funny (But Safe to Share)! These jokes are cheeky, playful, and perfect for sharing with friends without any worry. Whether you're at a party, hanging out with friends, or just looking to brighten someone's day, these jokes will surely bring a smile (or a chuckle) to your face. Let’s dive into this hilarious collection!

The Jokes

1. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
6. I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
7. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
8. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid it.
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
10. My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!
11. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
12. I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
13. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent!
14. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
15. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
16. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
17. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
18. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
19. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
20. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
21. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads!
22. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
23. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
24. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
25. I used to play hide and seek with my kids, but they always found me. I guess I’m just too good.
26. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
27. I told my daughter to take off her coat. She said, “Dad, I’m cold!” I said, “Then why did you put it on?”
28. What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!
29. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
30. I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
31. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
32. I made a pun about the wind, but it blows.
33. Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
34. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
35. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
36. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans!
37. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
38. I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
39. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
40. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room!
41. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
42. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
43. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
44. I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
45. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
46. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
47. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
48. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!
49. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places!
50. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
51. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
52. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
53. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
54. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
55. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
56. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
57. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
58. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
59. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid it.
60. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
61. My girlfriend told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down!
62. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
63. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
64. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
65. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
66. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
67. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
68. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid it.
69. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
70. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
71. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads!
72. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
73. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
74. I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
75. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
76. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
77. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
78. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
79. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid it.
80. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
81. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!
82. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places!
83. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
84. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
85. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
86. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
87. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
88. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
89. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
90. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
91. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
92. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
93. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid it.
94. I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
95. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
96. I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
97. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
98. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
99. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
100. I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads!
101. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
102. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
103. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
104. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
105. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
106. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans!
107. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
108. I used to play hide and seek with my kids, but they always found me. I guess I’m just too good.
109. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
110. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!
111. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places!
112. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
113. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
114. I have a fear of elevators, but I’m taking steps to avoid it.
115. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
116. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
117. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!
118. I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!
119. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
120. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

There you have it! 120 Dirty Jokes That Are Filthy and Funny (But Safe to Share). Perfect for lightening the mood or sharing a laugh with friends. If you're looking for even more clever humor, check out ItSoFunny for more inspiration. Enjoy and keep laughing!